Too Many Tabs Open? How to Ease the Mental Load of Parenting

You know that feeling when your brain has more tabs open than even your laptop can handle?

Work deadlines. Grocery lists. The unsigned permission form. The email you meant to reply to. The party RSVP. The nonstop messages in the school WhatsApp group. The appointment you keep forgetting to book.

Oh, and that podcast you wanted to listen to — something about balance or self-care. Oh, the irony!

If your mind feels constantly cluttered, you’re not alone.

For many parents, it’s not just about what we do — it’s about everything we hold in our heads. It’s the running commentary that never seems to quiet down, even when you’re sitting still. The heaviness that comes with knowing your To Do list is growing faster than you could possibly tick things off.

The Invisible Weight We Carry

The mental load is more than the sum of all the little tasks.

It’s the invisible labour of remembering, anticipating, and planning — like being the air traffic controller of your family’s day-to-day life. You’re constantly scanning the radar: tracking what’s coming in, what’s about to take off, and what needs urgent attention before something collides.

And when it comes to family life, there are some emergency landings that are impossible to plan for – like a dreaded gastro bug that rips through the whole family – and yet it’s your job to somehow make sure the family wheels keep turning.

For many parents – particularly mums – it can feel both overwhelming and lonely in the traffic control tower. It’s as if the weight feels even heavier when it’s not distributed fairly or even acknowledged.

You might have a partner who’s willing to help but doesn’t notice what needs doing until you point it out. Or perhaps you’re the one who holds the mental map of everyone’s schedules, moods, and appointments. You’re the only one that’s dedicated the headspace to knowing which child’s library day it is, which snacks they eat and which uniform needs to be clean for tomorrow.

That unevenness adds another layer — not just of work, but of emotional strain. It’s not only about doing more; it’s about thinking more, noticing more, holding more. And over time, it takes a toll.

Why It’s So Draining

When you’ve got twenty mental tabs open, even the smallest thing can tip you over. Your nervous system is constantly on standby — scanning for what’s next, trying to keep all the plates spinning.

It’s no wonder you collapse on the couch at the end of the day feeling strangely restless and guilty at the same time. You’ve been “on” all day, yet you can’t point to exactly what you did.

That’s because carrying a heavy mental load doesn’t just use mental energy — it drains emotional energy, too. The vigilance, the responsibility, the constant toggling — it all signals to your brain that you can’t fully relax.

How to Lighten the Load (Without Letting Everything Fall Apart)

You can’t make the to-do list disappear. But you can shift how you hold it. Here are some small, practical ways to start:

1. Get clear on your priorities.
Not everything is equally urgent or important — even though it can feel that way. Ask yourself, what actually matters most today? Focus on the few things that will make the biggest difference to your wellbeing or your family’s.

2. Take one tab at a time.
When you notice your mind jumping from task to task, gently pause. Pick one thing — and give it your full attention for a few minutes. Presence isn’t about doing less; it’s about doing what you are doing with your whole self.

3. Write it down.
A brain is not a storage device — it’s a thinking one. Externalise your mental list so you don’t have to keep rehearsing it in your head. Use notes, a whiteboard, or even a “family brain dump” session where everyone adds what’s on their mind.

4. Share the load — visibly and verbally.
Don’t assume others can see what you’re carrying. Talk about the invisible work — who remembers, plans, or follows up on things — and find ways to share that responsibility. Fairness starts with awareness and communication.

5. Loosen the grip of perfectionism.
Take the pressure off needing to keep every ball perfectly in the air. Give yourself permission to do a “good enough” job and to let the little things slide sometimes. Sustainability matters more than perfection.

6. Take micro-pauses.
Even 30 seconds of slowing down your breath or stretching your shoulders sends your nervous system the message that you’re safe to pause. You don’t need an hour — you need moments that remind your body it doesn’t always have to stay on high alert.

Less Pressure, More Living

As parents, the goal isn’t to close every tab or reach the end of your to-do list — it’s to carry it all a little differently. With less pressure, more clarity, and more compassion for yourself in the process.

When you realise you’re playing the long game, you see the importance of giving yourself more space and grace along the way. Amid the hecticness of family life, make room for lightness, laughter, gratitude - and most importantly, for living.

Know when it’s time to close a few tabs, take a breath, and step back into your life — one grounded moment at a time.

If your mind feels like it’s running too many tabs and you’d love some help finding steadier ground, you don’t have to figure it out alone.

👉 Book a FREE 15-minute call to talk through where you’re getting stuck as a parent and what might help lighten your load.

Or, if mornings are one of the trickiest parts of your day, you might enjoy my Calmer Mornings Guide — a free resource with simple shifts to help your family start the day on a calmer, more connected note.