3 Parent Mistakes That Sabotage School Mornings (And What to Do Instead)

It's time to stop falling into the same morning traps.

School mornings can be a pressure cooker. You’re trying to get everyone fed, dressed, organised, and out the door on time — ideally without losing your cool in the process.

Yet even with the best intentions, so many of us fall into habits that only make things harder.

Here are three of the most common mistakes I see parents make during school mornings — and what to try instead. With a few key tweaks, you’ll be ready to lead your family through a smoother start to the day.

Mistake (1). Holding Unrealistic Expectations

You imagine how the morning will go: everyone wakes up on time, follows the routine, eats breakfast without complaint, puts on their shoes, and walks out the door with a smile.

And then reality hits.

Someone refuses to get dressed. Someone else spills their smoothie. The lunchbox you thought was clean is still in yesterday’s schoolbag — along with a half-eaten banana. You look at the clock and suddenly you’re barking orders like a drill sergeant.

If you’ve ever thought we should have this down by now, take heart — you are certainly not alone.

And yet the tyranny of internal shoulds isn’t doing us any favours. Often, getting our mornings on track starts by getting our expectations in check.

Many of us expect too much from a small window of time: not just practically (the number of tasks we think we can squeeze in), but emotionally (believing kids should be cooperative, cheerful, efficient and as motivated as we are to get out the door on time).

Mornings are often messy. Kids resist. Socks go missing. Emotions flare. This doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. It means you're human, raising humans.

What helps?

Get honest about what’s actually realistic.

Simplify where you can. Build in buffer time. And remember: a smooth morning isn’t one without hiccups — it’s one where you’re resourced enough to respond flexibly to whatever the morning throws your way.

Mistake (2). Skipping Your Own Needs Entirely

When the alarm goes off, you’re already in go-mode. There’s breakfast to make, lunches to pack, uniforms to find and a constant countdown ticking in your mind.

In all the rushing, you forget to check in with the one person who sets the tone: you.

Starting the day already depleted is like trying to pour from an empty cup. You’re more likely to snap, spiral, or feel like everything’s too much — not because you’re a bad parent, but because you haven’t had a moment to ground yourself.

This doesn’t mean you need a full hour of self-care before sunrise. It just means carving out small, doable moments that help you feel centred and ready to face the day.

Three deep breaths before you get out of bed. A refreshing shower. A warm cuppa before the chaos begins. Find what works for you – even if it’s just for 30 seconds.

The truth is - the magic is not in what you do, it’s in your intention to take care of yourself.

Stress is contagious but so is calm. When you tend to your nervous system first and give yourself even a tiny dose of what you need, everyone benefits.

Mistake (3). Believing That Pushing Harder Will Help Everyone Move Faster

It’s 8:07am. No one has their shoes on. Someone’s still in pyjamas. You feel the tension rising as the internal ticking of the clock gets louder in your mind.

So you push harder. You raise your voice. You repeat yourself with more urgency: Come on! We’re going to be late!

And somehow, everything gets slower. The kids become even less responsive – only to drive your frustration levels higher and higher.

Here’s the tricky truth:

The more pressure we apply, the more likely kids are to dig in or shut down. When we lead with urgency and intensity, it sends their nervous systems into a stress response — and that makes cooperation harder, not easier.

It’s counterintuitive, but slowing down your energy can help them speed up. A gentle touch, a calm voice, or even a light moment of connection (a silly shoe race, a whispered secret) can interrupt the cycle and invite their bodies back into motion.

When you feel the urge to get heavier, only to come up against more resistance – take a slow breath and invite yourself to access lightness instead.

Rather than pushing harder, focus on connection – so you can lead your kids forward with greater ease.  

Want More Support to Reset Your Mornings?

If your mornings feel more chaotic than calm, my FREE Calmer Mornings Guide is here to help. It’s packed with practical strategies to help you lead your family through the morning routine with less stress and greater ease.

➡️ Grab your free Calmer Mornings Guide here.

Finally access the support you need to stop falling into the same old traps. And instead, give your family the gift of a smoother start to the day.